Special Services
by FireApe
Summary: Finn overhears something between Kurt and Blaine and becomes scarred for life.


**So, I've been out of the writing loop for awhile. But finals are done and over with, so how do I celebrate? Writing a little fanfic. Oh yea! Let me know what you think of this little drabble! Enjoy!**

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Normally Finn wouldn't be so upset that his plans with Puck had been canceled. If his buddy wanted to spend time with that Lauren chick, that was cool. Finn would be more than happy to spend his Saturday afternoon shooting zombies on his Xbox. Unfortunately, his beloved gaming console was being repaired so he had absolutely nothing worthwhile to do. It was going to be a long weekend.

Pulling into the driveway, Finn saw that both Kurt and Blaine's cars were in the driveway. He supposed he could hang out with them. Blaine was a pretty cool guy, which was good because Finn would hate it if his step-brother was dating a douche. It had taken a few weeks for Finn to get comfortable with their relationship. It wasn't everyday that you see two dudes cuddling and being all… couple-y. But he was fine with it, really. He was glad that Kurt was finally happy. That kid definitely deserved it.

Deciding that the three of them could have some dude-bonding time together before their parents came home from work, Finn opened the door to the house with a bit more enthusiasm than he had been feeling ten minutes ago. The house was quiet, which was odd. Whenever Kurt was home there was usually always some sort of music playing.

"Hello?" he called, peering into the living room and kitchen. Empty. Puzzled, Finn made his way up the stairs. They were probably in Kurt's room, he decided. Maybe giggling over the latest issue of Vogue or something. Finn mentally berated himself for that internal comment. That wasn't a polite thing to think. It was… well, it wasn't racist, exactly. Would sexist work? Finn wasn't sure. They were both dudes, no matter how girly Kurt acted from time to time. Was gay-ist a word? Rude behavior against gays? No, that sounded too much like 'gayest', which was definitely not the same thing.

He was brought out of his mental dilemma when he heard voices come from Kurt's room. So they _were _in there! Finn was just about to knock when he heard something that made his fist stop in mid-air.

"I don't know, Blaine. Have you ever done this before?" Kurt's voice was nervous and sort of shaky.

"Kurt, just relax. I'm practically an expert," came Blaine's calm reply.

"What if I get a disease? Oh god, my life will be ruined if I get –"

"Would you chill out? You're not going to get any diseases, okay? Now hold still so I can…"

A giant red-flag went up and Finn decided that he needed to leave. Now. He may have been okay with Kurt and Blaine's relationship, but he was _not _comfortable with them doing… _things_… especially if he was within hearing distance.

Unfortunately, Finn found his feet rooted outside of Kurt's closed door. He couldn't move. It probably had something to do with the next statement he heard from the inside of the room.

"How big is it?"

"Kurt…"

"Just tell me. If it's going to hurt I want to know how big it is!"

"It really doesn't matter how – Hey! Don't touch it! Move your hand!" There was a pause as Kurt apparently obliged. "Now, just try to relax and it won't hurt so much," continued Blaine.

Finn's eyes went wide as he heard Kurt let out a soft whimper in pain. _Oh god_, he thought. _Oh god oh god oh shit oh god…_

"Ow, Blaine! That hurts!" Finn could tell by his voice that Kurt was wincing; he could even hear his heavy breathing. _Oh god…_

"Well if you'd stop squirming so much…"

"Ow, Blaine… unh… ouch! Oh my god, am I bleeding?"

Okay, that was it. Finn couldn't do this anymore. He somehow found the strength to move and high-tailed it down the stairs. Once he was there, though, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. His eyes scanned the living room in panic. He needed to do something to get _that _out of his head.

Television. That always worked. Hurriedly, Finn stumbled over the couch and hastily grabbed the remote, fumbling with the buttons until the TV turned on. He cranked up the volume and started flipping through the channels. He needed something loud and obnoxious. He passed by the cartoons and the food channels and eventually found a station that was showing a monster truck race. That would work. Finn glued his eyes on the screen, trying to absorb himself into the massive trucks racing around a dirt track. But he still couldn't get their voices out of his head…

"Finn?"

His head whipped around (how long had he been staring at the TV?) to see Kurt and Blaine standing in the doorway. Kurt was – oh god, he was _shirtless_ – and Blaine looked awfully pleased with himself. _Oh god… this isn't happening to me…_

"I thought you were going to be at Puck's all day," commented Kurt, pulling a shirt over his torso.

"Uh, he canceled," he muttered, turning his face back to the television. He couldn't even _look _at either of them right now. Not after they had just…

"Oh." Kurt gave a slight shrug before walking over to the couch – completely unashamed or embarrassed, noted Finn – and sat down next to him. Blaine followed and sat in the chair on the other side of Kurt. Finn used all of his willpower to keep his eyes on the TV. "Finn, you won't _believe _what Blaine made me do today!" he started off with a wide grin.

"Okay, that's it!" Finn threw up his hands and got up from the couch. "I really don't want to hear about…" He ran his hand nervously through his hair, eyes darting across the room to land anywhere except on either of their faces. "I… I have to go… somewhere… yeah. To do that thing." And with that, Finn darted around the couch, grabbed his car keys, and headed out the door.

The two boys stared after him for a moment in confusion. "I didn't think he had such a thing against hiking," quipped Blaine. "Or maybe he's just squeamish," he added in a teasing tone, casting his gaze slyly to look at Kurt.

Kurt gave a dramatic shudder. "Ugh. I never want to see another tick for the rest of my life," he commented, touching the bandaged spot behind his shoulder that covered the evidence of Blaine's tick-removing services.


End file.
